the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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