just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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