The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
