eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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