Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
