1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
