i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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