Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
