Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
