I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
