She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
This is the high leading the old right now
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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