Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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