For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
