I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
