God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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