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It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
