If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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