Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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