i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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