Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
