we have pet lesbian snakes
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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