My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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