doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
