I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My feet surprised me
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
