well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
