i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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