She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
