I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
