This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
