There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Randomize
