Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
