my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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