Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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