I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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