Moan for me like Helen Keller
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize