Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
