you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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