i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Do vagina's smell?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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