I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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