I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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