Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
