Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
