remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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