I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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