Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
