He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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