Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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