my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize