Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
