what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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