girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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