i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
