bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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