I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
