I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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