i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
