You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
