she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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