And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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