I'm laying in your front yard are you home
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
