i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
