Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
